The Eggplant Emoji Incident 🍆

A few years ago, a friend walked into yoga class wearing the most beautiful purple pants. I swooned over the color and the pockets. After class, I asked where she got them—and half-jokingly offered to buy them if she ever didn’t want them anymore. She graciously agreed.

Later, while texting to thank her (because I truly loved them), I went searching for an emoji that matched the exact shade of purple. That’s when I spotted it—right there between the pineapple and the lettuce.

The eggplant. Perfect! So I added it enthusiastically. 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

Not long after, I was texting with a friend who would be joining me on retreat. I wanted to end our message with excitement about our upcoming adventure, so I added a string of tropical emojis: palm tree, sunshine, yogi, ocean, monkey, heart. 🌴☀️🧘‍♀️🌊🐒💫

And sitting there in my “recently used”?

The eggplant. 🍆

So I tossed it in. Just to be random. To be funny.

Over the next few weeks, I sent a handful of messages that included playful, slightly nonsensical emojis. Yep…you guessed it…the eggplant made repeat appearances. And occasionally, the conversation would just stop. No reply. Cold.

I didn’t think much of it.

Months later, in a text exchange with my sister, she says:

“Ten! You do know what the eggplant emoji means, don’t you?!?”

I did not.

So I looked it up.

In case you don’t know either: the eggplant emoji has become widely recognized internet slang for… well… a suggestive reference to a penis. It’s typically used in flirtatious or sexual contexts.

You can imagine my horror.

I immediately tried to recall everyone I’d sent it to over the past year—friends, family, and yes… even women who were joining me on retreat but who I hadn’t met yet. Suddenly, all those mysteriously dropped conversations made a lot more sense.

Once the shock wore off, I found the whole thing hilarious. There I was—simply trying to be lighthearted and playful—completely unaware of how my messages might be landing.

I still laugh about it.

This year, my friend Mackenzie—who knows this whole story—gifted me an eggplant Christmas ornament. 🍆 It now hangs proudly on my tree and serves as a perfect reminder that miscommunication happens—often in unexpected ways, especially around the holidays.

If you’ve ever left a gathering—holiday or otherwise—and replayed a conversation on the drive home… If you’ve ever woken up in the middle of the night, suddenly thinking, Oh no—did that come out wrong?

Then you know that feeling—the small drop in your stomach when you realize your words may not have landed the way you intended.

So as we move through this holiday week—through the longest night of the year and toward the return of the light—I want to offer this gentle reminder:

Be kind. Be generous in your assumptions. Give people some grace. There may be great miscommunications afoot.

In my experience, most people are doing the very best they can at any given time.

And if someone’s words land strangely—or an emoji feels confusing—maybe pause before jumping to conclusions. There may be a well-meaning, playful human on the other side.

(And if you received a 🍆  from me, it was purely botanical and completely nonsensical. Sorry about that. 😊)

Happy holidays, sweet friend. xo

love,

Tener